36 Weeks

Here I am at 36 weeks, hoping to be done any day now. This is as far as I made it with Ruby and a week shy of my date with Jeffrey. It is hard not to anticipate being done. At my ultrasound appt. today they calculated him being 7lb 3oz. Thats plenty big in my book. Way bigger already than both Roo and Jeff. He certainly doesn't need the last 4 weeks to put on weight. I am tired of being nervous and worried, monitoring movement, hoping all is okay. I tend to really worry a lot here at the end. I worry the whole pregnancy, because pregnancy seems to make me extra worried, but at the end I am almost loony. When he isn't moving during his usual active times, I have a hard time staying calm.. it's amazing I haven't been in to the hospital several times a week to have him checked. I think I have gotten progressively worse with each pregnancy. I am just ready to hold my baby safe in my arms.... I am starting to dread the thought of delivery though. I have been crazy enough to do my past 2 pitocin labors naturally. I just don't know if I have a 3rd in me. They are pretty rough. I guess I will just have to see what the circumstances are when I get there. If I go full term, he will be over 9 pounds and they are suggesting a c-section. I am hoping I can avoid that by having him this next week or two. I am trying to fill my days with fun activities so I don't obsess to much about being done. I am trying to just enjoy what will probably be the last few weeks of pregnancy that I ever go through. It really is a special time, preparing and looking forward to the sweet joy a new baby brings.