21 weeks

I feel huge already and I have a seriously long way to go. I guess being bigger on the 3rd pregnancy is pretty normal I am told. It doesn't make me feel any less like a whale though. I am living in "lounge" clothes. I am almost 22 weeks. I still feel sick most every afternoon and evening, but at least I am not throwing up anymore. I just had another very extensive ultrasound last week and everything looks good. He has 2 hands, 2 feet, 10 fingers, 10 toes, and a very cute nose and upper lip. We still have no solid pick for a name and very few options we like, but we have time for that. We do have a few that were on the list back during my Ruby pregnancy that have now been used by family and friends, and if we use one of those names, then tough crap, our kids will have the same name, it's not a tragedy. It's a really big world and we probably won't ever live by each other. Ruby is participating in the naming process and has vetoed a few that I thought were pretty cool. Between Dave and her it will be a miracle if this child gets a name. Camila had her baby yesterday and I was surprised to feel so envious that her waiting is over. I still have many months of worrying and waiting to go. But I am so happy for her, they are both safe and doing well. I hope that eventually the same can be said of me and all of my pregnant loved ones.

Baby Boy

It's a baby boy. We had an ultrasound yesterday and we found out we will be having another little guy. This will make him the 8th straight boy on my side of the family. Ruby remains the only granddaughter. As far as they can tell, everything looks good and he is very healthy.

Pregnant Picture

Camila has been demanding a picture so she can see how big I am. I have gotten so huge in the last week. I went from being able to completely button my pants one day, to needing maternity pants the next. It's totally crazy. I am 17 weeks 4 days based on the calender and 18 weeks 4 days based on ultrasound measurements. Either way I am nearing the half way mark. Normally this would be really exciting. Except that because I am still sick, instead of being amazed that I am half way done, I am fearing that I have potentially 20+ more weeks of nausea. I will try to be more positive, but I am not making any promises. Although, I do still continue to have some hope that it will disappear any day now. Everything else is going really well. I am feeling lots of movement, and my belly is growing every day.

Seriously?

Stop reading now if you don't want to hear me bitterly complain and whine and wallow in self pity. I am writing this for my own mental health.
Seriously? Three weeks later and I am still so sick I want to die. I have been sick for 2 months and 3 weeks. When you feel this crappy, you tend to keep track. After tonight I can say that the worst thing to throw up is ribs and potato salad. You would think that after being this sick that you would get kind of used to it and learn to deal with it. Wrong! It's the opposite. The longer it goes on the more it just wears you down, the more you want to throw yourself off of a tall building. I am starting to worry that it is never going to end. I have lost 7 lbs and gained only 1 of them back. I feel like I am slowly starving to death. I keep telling myself to just endure it one more week, but when that week is up, it just keeps going. Of course as a mother there is somewhere deep inside of me that knows it is all worth it, but right now I am just too miserable to feel it. I know there are pregnant women that have it way worse. I have friends that have been violently ill the entire 40 weeks. They are some strong women! I am not strong, I am weak. At this point I would give almost anything to make it go away.

13 Weeks

Today Dave and I went for my first ultrasound. It was fabulous to see that tiny little baby squirming around. I always have so much apprehension before an ultrasound. I am a worrier, and I just fear something will be wrong. So it was a huge relief to see a healthy baby with a beautiful beating heart, two arms, two legs, and a healthy developing brain. It also did wonders for my sagging spirits. Morning sickness has been grueling almost beyond what I can even handle, so it was good for my heart to see that it's all for this little baby. I haven't been insanely sick for 2 months for no reason, but for this little person growing inside me. I had a rough weekend, I really needed that visual boost. So I am really just at the beginning of a very long pregnancy, but for now all is going well and we just pray it continues.