Saturday, November 14, 2009


Stop reading now if you don't want to hear me bitterly complain and whine and wallow in self pity. I am writing this for my own mental health.
Seriously? Three weeks later and I am still so sick I want to die. I have been sick for 2 months and 3 weeks. When you feel this crappy, you tend to keep track. After tonight I can say that the worst thing to throw up is ribs and potato salad. You would think that after being this sick that you would get kind of used to it and learn to deal with it. Wrong! It's the opposite. The longer it goes on the more it just wears you down, the more you want to throw yourself off of a tall building. I am starting to worry that it is never going to end. I have lost 7 lbs and gained only 1 of them back. I feel like I am slowly starving to death. I keep telling myself to just endure it one more week, but when that week is up, it just keeps going. Of course as a mother there is somewhere deep inside of me that knows it is all worth it, but right now I am just too miserable to feel it. I know there are pregnant women that have it way worse. I have friends that have been violently ill the entire 40 weeks. They are some strong women! I am not strong, I am weak. At this point I would give almost anything to make it go away.